Getting Over It: How to Move On from the Past and Live a Happier Life
Have you ever been told to "just get over it" when you were feeling sad, angry, or hurt by something that happened in the past? Maybe you've said it to yourself, hoping that it would make you feel better. But does it really work? Can you just get over it and move on with your life?
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In this article, we will explore what it means to get over something, why it's not as easy as it sounds, and how you can actually do it with some practical tips from a psychologist. We will also look at the benefits of getting over it, and how it can improve your mental and physical health, self-esteem, relationships, and happiness.
What does it mean to get over it?
To get over something or someone means to stop feeling unhappy about it or being affected by it. It can also mean to accept an unpleasant fact or situation after dealing with it for a while.
For example, you might want to get over a breakup, a loss, a trauma, a failure, a rejection, or a mistake. Getting over it doesn't mean that you forget about what happened or that you don't care anymore. It means that you are able to cope with your emotions, learn from your experience, and move forward without letting it hold you back.
The difference between getting over it and getting it over
Some people might confuse getting over it with getting it over. These are two different phrases with different meanings. To get something over with means to finish or complete something that is unpleasant or difficult.
For example, you might want to get a dentist appointment, a presentation, a test, or a chore over with. Getting something over with doesn't mean that you get over it. It means that you are done with it and don't have to worry about it anymore.
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Getting over something is not the same as getting something over with. You can't just finish or complete your feelings and emotions. You have to work through them, take your time, and remember that everyone copes and manages their emotions differently and on their own schedule.
Why getting over it is not easy, but possible
Getting over something is not easy because we are human beings who have feelings and memories. We can't just switch off our emotions or erase our past. We might have attachments, expectations, regrets, resentments, or fears that keep us stuck in the past. We might also face triggers or reminders that bring up our old wounds or negative thoughts.
However, getting over something is possible because we also have the ability to heal and grow. We can change our perspective, our attitude, and our behavior. We can learn new skills, strategies, and coping mechanisms. We can seek support from others who care about us and understand us. We can find meaning, purpose, and hope in our lives.
How to get over it: 6 practical tips from a psychologist
If you are struggling to get over something or someone that is causing you pain or distress, here are some practical tips from a psychologist that can help you:
Create an affirmation that will counter the negative thoughts
Affirmations are short statements that can help calm you down and ground you in the present moment. They can also help you challenge and replace the negative thoughts that might be keeping you from getting over it. For example, if you are thinking "I will never get over this", you can create an affirmation like "I am healing and moving on every day". Repeat your affirmation to yourself whenever you feel overwhelmed or stuck.
Keep your distance - physically and emotionally
One of the best ways to get over something or someone is to keep your distance from them. This means avoiding contact, communication, or interaction with them as much as possible. It also means limiting your exposure to anything that might remind you of them, such as their photos, messages, social media posts, gifts, or places. This will help you break the emotional bond and attachment that might be preventing you from moving on.
Focus on yourself
Another way to get over something or someone is to focus on yourself and your own well-being. This means taking care of your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health. It also means doing things that make you happy, such as hobbies, interests, passions, or goals. By focusing on yourself, you will boost your self-esteem, confidence, and happiness. You will also discover new aspects of yourself and your potential.
Surround yourself with people you love
A third way to get over something or someone is to surround yourself with people you love and who love you back. These can be your family, friends, colleagues, or anyone who supports you and understands you. By surrounding yourself with positive and caring people, you will feel less lonely, isolated, or depressed. You will also have someone to talk to, vent to, or lean on when you need it.
Allow yourself to talk about the situation
A fourth way to get over something or someone is to allow yourself to talk about the situation and how it makes you feel. You can do this with someone you trust, such as a friend, a family member, a therapist, or a support group. By talking about the situation, you will release the pent-up emotions and thoughts that might be weighing you down. You will also gain new insights, perspectives, and feedback that can help you heal and grow.
Practice forgiveness
A fifth way to get over something or someone is to practice forgiveness. Forgiveness does not mean that you condone or forget what happened or what they did. It means that you let go of the anger, resentment, or bitterness that might be poisoning your mind and heart. Forgiveness is not for them - it is for you. By forgiving them or yourself, you will free yourself from the past and open yourself to the future.
The benefits of getting over it
Getting over something or someone is not only possible but also beneficial for your life. Here are some of the benefits of getting over it:
Improved mental and physical health
Getting over something or someone can improve your mental and physical health by reducing stress, anxiety, depression, and other negative emotions that can harm your body and mind. It can also improve your sleep quality, immune system, blood pressure, and heart health.
Increased self-esteem and confidence
Getting over something or someone can increase your self-esteem and confidence by making you feel more in control of your life and emotions. It can also make you feel more proud of yourself for overcoming a challenge and learning from it.
Enhanced relationships and social skills
Getting over something or someone can enhance your relationships and social skills by making you more open, trusting, and compassionate with others. It can also make you more sociable, outgoing, and friendly with new people.
Greater happiness and satisfaction
Getting over something or someone can increase your happiness and satisfaction by making you more grateful, optimistic, and hopeful for the future. It can also make you more content, fulfilled, and joyful in the present.
Conclusion
Getting over something or someone is not a simple or easy process, but it is a worthwhile and rewarding one. By following the tips from a psychologist that we shared in this article, you can get over it and move on from the past. You can also enjoy the benefits of getting over it, such as improved health, self-esteem, relationships, and happiness.
Remember that getting over it is not a sign of weakness or failure. It is a sign of strength and resilience. You are not alone in this journey. You have the power and the support to get over it and live a happier life.
Frequently Asked Questions
Here are some of the most common questions that people have about getting over something or someone:
How long does it take to get over something or someone?
There is no definitive answer to this question, as everyone heals and moves on at their own pace. Some factors that can influence how long it takes to get over something or someone include the nature and intensity of the situation, your personality and coping style, your support system and resources, and your willingness and readiness to get over it. Some people might get over something or someone in a matter of days or weeks, while others might take months or years.
How do I know if I have gotten over something or someone?
Some signs that you have gotten over something or someone include:
You don't feel as sad, angry, or hurt as you used to.
You don't think about them or the situation as often or as intensely as you used to.
You don't react negatively or emotionally to triggers or reminders of them or the situation.
You don't have any regrets, resentments, or grudges towards them or yourself.
You don't have any fantasies, hopes, or expectations of getting back together with them or changing the situation.
You have accepted what happened and what they did.
You have learned from the experience and grown as a person.
You have moved on with your life and pursued new goals, interests, or relationships.
What if I can't get over something or someone?
If you feel like you can't get over something or someone, don't lose hope. There is always a way to get over it and move on. However, sometimes you might need some extra help or guidance from a professional. If you are experiencing any of the following symptoms or situations, you might want to consider seeking therapy:
You have been feeling depressed, anxious, angry, or suicidal for a long time.
You have been experiencing physical problems such as insomnia, headaches, stomachaches, or fatigue.
You have been abusing alcohol, drugs, food, or other substances to cope with your feelings.
You have been isolating yourself from others or avoiding social situations.
You have been having trouble functioning at work, school, or home.
You have been experiencing flashbacks, nightmares, or intrusive thoughts about the situation.
You have been engaging in self-harm or risky behaviors to escape from your pain.
A therapist can help you understand and process your emotions, challenge and change your negative thoughts, help you develop new coping skills and strategies, and support you in moving on with your life. Therapy can be a safe, confidential, and non-judgmental space where you can express yourself and heal at your own pace.
What if I don't want to get over something or someone?
If you don't want to get over something or someone, you might be holding on to them or the situation for various reasons. Some of these reasons might include:
You are afraid of change or the unknown.
You are attached to the past or the fantasy of what could have been.
You are hoping for a reconciliation or a resolution.
You are feeling guilty or responsible for what happened or what they did.
You are seeking validation or closure from them or the situation.
You are avoiding facing your own issues or problems.
While these reasons might seem valid or understandable, they are not healthy or helpful for you in the long run. They are keeping you from living your life fully and happily. They are preventing you from growing and moving on. They are hurting you more than helping you.
If you don't want to get over something or someone, you might want to ask yourself these questions:
What am I gaining from holding on to them or the situation?
What am I losing from holding on to them or the situation?
How is holding on to them or the situation affecting my health, self-esteem, relationships, and happiness?
How would my life be different if I let go of them or the situation?
What is stopping me from letting go of them or the situation?
What can I do to overcome these obstacles and let go of them or the situation?
By answering these questions honestly and objectively, you might realize that getting over something or someone is not only possible but also desirable for you. You might also find the motivation and courage to take the first step towards getting over it and moving on with your life.
Can I get over something or someone and still love them?
Yes, you can get over something or someone and still love them. Getting over something or someone does not mean that you stop loving them or that you stop caring about them. It means that you love yourself more and that you care about your own well-being more. It means that you respect their choices and decisions, even if they hurt you. It means that you wish them well, even if they are not in your life anymore.
Getting over something or someone and still loving them is a sign of maturity and compassion. It is a sign of unconditional love. It is a sign of healing and growth. 44f88ac181
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